I recently read (or completely made up in my head) that Americans spend just as much time cooking pre-prepared foods as they do when starting from scratch, so I decided to put time to the test when making Macaroni and Cheese on my daily half hour lunch break. Results? More delicious, slightly more timely, but making enough for leftovers certainly helped with the time crunch for the next few days!
America’s greatest conspiracy lies in its housewares stores…
It was 6:30 on a Friday evening when my phone alerted me to a text from hopefully one of the friends I was waiting to hear from re: our nightly plans. But alas, unpopular as I am, the text was from a random six-digit number, reminding me that my digital Bed, Bath, and Beyond 20% off coupon would soon expire. Oh, the horror.
Because there’s a BBB within 30 blocks of my house and I apparently have no friends, I decided to trek over and take advantage of this exclusive offer, buying something I already needed, like dental floss or hand soap, but at a discount. Ha, I’d show them.
I’m often made fun of for carrying what some may kindly refer to as a “grandma bag.” However, if you stub your toe, smudge your mascara, or just need a little something fun, guess who’s going to be the first person you turn to?
I usually carry my Longchamp tote, which is big enough to fit everything I need yet stylish enough to not look like I’m lugging an oversized duffle uptown and downtown and back again. (I’ve also heard from some childless friends that a diaper bag makes an excellent purse/laptop bag. I’m too scared to venture down that path just yet, but I’m sure it would do wonders for my handbag organization. Just think of all the things you could fit in a stroller.)
While the contents of my purse is customized to each daily activity, there are a few items I will not leave the house without. Perhaps it’s the Girlscouts who reminded me to always be prepared, but having the correct contents in my bag before I leave the house is essential to starting any day!
A short survival guide for those of us who are dumb enough to wear heels in Manhattan.
Cry in bed.
Cry on your couch/futon.
Cry on the floor.
Yell about how much pain you’re in to no one in particular, it’s good practice for being an old person…
Instagram your injury with a variety of filters.
Contact everyone who likes your instagram post begging them for sympathy.
Realize this is what your parent’s “emergency” credit card is for.
Stock up on cupcakes and macarons.
Make various playlists for your upcoming moods. (bored, annoyed, sad, desperate, repeat).
Make a pot of chili and deliver it to the homeless man downstairs (if you can walk down stairs).
Email pictures of you having fun to your grandma, who will appreciate them once you send someone to help her open the files.
Efficiently slim down your Netflix queue by watching on your laptop and TV simultaneously.
Practice your pimp walk. Limps are sexy.
Use an umbrella as a cane.
Regret living in a walkup.
Regret skipping ballet all week. You may never dance again.
Read Cosmo in the bathtub.
Text your therapist from the bath. This seems like something celebrities would do.
Cry more.
Stalk yourself on Facebook and remove anything potentially embarrassing from your past.
Stalk everyone else you’ve ever met on Facebook and forward their embarrassing posts to a select group of friends.
Enhance your manicure with some elaborate nail art.
Re-organize your shoe collection in order of slightly dangerous to very dangerous.
Consider getting rid of dangerous shoes to avoid future injuries.
This is one of my favorite soups, but it’s not vegetarian at too many restaurants! Left to my own devices, I invented a recipe somewhat resembling what I believe this macaroni and bean soup should taste like. And it was awesome.
Ingredients:
5 cups vegetable broth
3 tablespoons tomato paste
2 cans cannellini beans
8 0z ditalini pasta (cooked in advance)
1 cup fresh or frozen chopped spinach
1/2 cup parmesan cheese
Bring the broth and tomato paste to a boil. Add beans and spinach, simmer for 20 minutes, stir in pasta and cheese, let simmer for another few minutes until pasta has absorbed some broth. Serve with parmesan sprinkled on top.
It’s hard to believe that it’s already been a year since last Purim, but a series of invitations to Saturday night parties to celebrate the holiday inspired me to bake hamentaschen again!
February 16th was marked on my calendar for months, the day that Beyonce’s documentary would finally be released on HBO. I was expecting an even better version of Selena, with the pop star playing herself and not getting shot in the end. Unfortunately, my time would have been better spent re-watching Dreamgirls. Or perhaps even Never Say Never, which I will unashamedly admit I saw in theaters two years ago and was far more interested in than this made-for-TV tell-all-but-not-that-much film.
A better title for this hour and a half of video content would have been “Skyping with Beyonce: In Your Dreams.” Over 90 minutes, I had some awkwardly intimate moments with Queen B and her webcam, as she explained how normal and human she is, even though her career/fame/beauty&talent are anything but normal. She admits to being annoyed that everyone is brainwashed by a computer. But she’s always in front of her computer. Always.
I remember learning about conjunctions in my second grade classroom. After watching the famed Schoolhouse Rock classic, “Conjunction Junction,” my teacher passed out a list of conjunctions for us to memorize for an upcoming test. This was back when tests and homework were exciting, when, to an eight year old nerd like me, any extra work to be done outside of the classroom was considered a major bonus. Yes, I would cheer, I get to learn even more! Those were the days before term papers and theses and annotated bibliographies and endlessly monotonous lectures only slightly more painful than a drip to the dentist.
But I digress.
In preparation for Friday night’s blizzard, I stayed in and made soup, as all wild and crazy twenty-somethings are known to do. This creamy soup has a nice kick to it, keeping me warm on snowy days!
Ingredients:
2 tbs olive oil
3 carrots, peeled and diced
1/2 cup chopped celery
4 cloves of garlic
3 potatoes, peeled and diced
2 cups of frozen broccoli
8 cups of vegetable stock
2 tbs cayenne pepper
1/2 cup cheddar cheese
salt & pepper to taste
To prepare:
Saute vegetables in oil until soft. Add vegetable stock and pepper, lower heat and simmer for 45 minutes. Slowly stir in the cheese so that it melts. Blend soup in small batches until smooth.
I’m always loosing hair pins. Always. So instead of having to buy a new pack every week, I spent the $3 this week on a roll of magnetic tape at my local hardware store. Two strips on the inside of my medicine cabinet help keep my pins organized, off the sink, and give me the perfect place to put them at the end of the day!
